Love?

Hello there fabled masses of the world; it is I Kaleb reaching out to you once more...

I have been somewhat absent from the mires of my thoughts for some time now, as the person I share a body with has been inundated with work commitments. But like a pirate I have stolen his ship for a while.

Today I would like to take the time to rant about love. It is a sore point for many and rightly so!

What is love anyway? It merely leaves you withered and broken. I mean, let us look at the reality of it all. You fall in love, your love is often rejected and then you have to climb your way out of that deep grave that you have dug. The only mourners at this funeral are you best friends ‘pride’ and ‘dignity,’ which you’ve pretended not to know when that false god winked his/her eye at you and flashed a smile. And do not for one second think that your road ends once you’ve scaled the walls of that deep grave...no, no, no...that’s when the real work begins. You see now you have to fix all the damage that freak train did to your world, changing the landscape once again; the driver and the train long gone. So you become bitter, jaded and cold during the day and cry like Bella Swan at night rocking back and forth to the mournful tunes of “There’s a possibility.” You promise yourself...NEVER AGAIN.

But then time goes by and you are really happy again. Suddenly a new he/she walks in and makes the world turn. You deny it, rationalise it and even justify your curiosity as “Don’t worry, I know what I am doing.” The truth is you don’t. But then you’re stuck in the movies together and the person you swore you’d stay away from is breathing next to you and you’re alive, again. Their presence in the world makes all the difference. This new journey erases the past hurt and you find yourself standing on that oh-too-familiar cliff edge watching the raging waters of whomever the latest craze is call like a siren song to you. Should you jump? That question is so engaging, but before you can even answer something happens and you fall once more into the raging depths below.

Yet is that not the point; that you, in your infinite wisdom and understanding and rationality, can through this single act of love find that you believe in life once more? It is the equaliser, the torturer and the reducer of grandiosity to remind you that you are capable of giving a gift so precious that even when it is unrequited you are never left the same. You have changed, grown and become so much more than you were before. You do it again, because it makes you ‘feel.’ I have always been a firm believer that we live our lives through emotions, but peace of mind comes from knowing where those emotions come from. Do not be afraid of love. Don’t fear its shape, form, colour and gender. It will not break you; only present you with a possibility, a possibility to dream once more.

Go tell them you love them. And if they reject it, remember that you have not lost anything but you have gained self respect and dignity. You have not denied your heart. And if the heart breaks, it will mend. It’s built for that. Hiding your heart only makes it weak, breaking it may only build a stronger braver you, but a ‘you’ worth loving yourself.